Every once in a while, I will have this dream. I am at the bottom of this steep hill in a residential area. I have never been able to climb it. Could never walk up to the top. I just had the dream again. This time, the hill wasn’t as steep and I made it to the top. I could see all around me as far as the eye could see.
I made it.
a great deal happened that i am just too tired and emotionally drained to go into. i have a feeling of loss that i was not expecting. but then does anyone really expect a loss? i am sad. i feel broken.
i hope tomorrow will bring a brighter day.
seemingly appropriate that this is my 500th post for my blog since i started it so long ago. i only found out when i loaded a new post screen. well this post is not about anything to do with this being my 500th post. this has everything to do with love. love for a wonderful lady. alexa is this lady. what can be said about her? she keeps me on my toes and inspires me. i have had a hard time the past couple of years to get back into the groove of writing and being generally creative. i found myself spiraling down into a field of bland things with blah feelings. then she came into my life and made me see the colours again.
i feel positive about alexa and the hold she has on my heart. every day is a new day and everyday i look forward to seeing her. i also look forward to making beautiful music together. i know that’s a cliché, but in this instance, i mean it literally.
tot ce ai nevoie este dragostea.
~adieu
sometimes things happen in your life or people happen in your life that change you. they add something to you or point out something to you. sometimes all they need to do is make you think. they become a force that cannot be ignored. i have spent many of my nights talking with such a person. the result being that i need to do things. to get the cobwebs off of me and motivate me to focus on the things that i love to do like writing, creating music, and film.
but more importantly, i need to finish what i start. to focus and be the best i can be at something before moving on to another interest. i can tend to be everywhere and all over the place. this is not good and i have realised it myself. it is a bad habit that is great for my work while putting out fires and fixing everything that is breaking. but for goal orientated and the creation of projects that are more creative, focus is prime.
with this i will strive to be more focused.
~adieu
…works of art with a minimum of steel…
the holidays often bring a deluge of feelings of sadness and melancholy. i guess i am no different. the only thing i have going on in my life is work – which i enjoy – but it is rather an empty joy. in many respects i have not accomplished much in my personal life. being single has its privileges of freedom, but they are hollow answers to unspoken questions.
the holidays coinciding with winter only seem to bring a backdrop of emptiness and a metaphor for death or an end. it is the end of a year. end of the tranquil warmth of hope and home. the cold creeps in and takes hold.
~adieu
Mr. Midshipman Hornblower
i finished the novel by C.S. Forester a week ago or so, but i just didnt have the time to write about it until now. well, that and i forgot. i was so super busy with the office move just before the thanksgiving day holidays and then the ’settling in’ is still settling. well enough of the excuses. its my blog anyway, i can critique what i wish when i wish. i really dont need to go into self admonition.
a little back history of myself for those that may or may not know. i am an avid fan of 17th – 19th century naval adventures. pirates, napoleonics, etc. tall ships and sails have always had a soft spot for me. the Horatio Hornblower series has been a favourite, though i only ever read a couple of the books. the movie with gregory peck is always a staple in my library. i never read the ‘first’ novel in this series. over all and with all the bias that i can bestow upon it, i feel that this novel is very top notch. i really had a hard time putting it down and i was quite disappointed with work interrupting my usual reading times.
i give the book 5 out of 5 stars!
i am currently reading (a modern novel for a change) the kite runner by Khaled Hosseini. it too is a great read and i am nearly all the way through it. but i shall give my review when i am actually finished.
today is the first day of hanukkah. although i am not jewish, i have many friends and loved ones who are. some very devout, orthodox and kosher and some just celebrate for the holidays. in either case and all the other cases in between and to the extreme, i would like to wish everyone a very happy and blessed hanukkah.
~adieu
Jaiden age 1
i want to give a very happy birthday wish to my son, Jaiden. i love you and i miss you. i hope you have a fabulous birthday and a great year ahead.
xoxoxo
I was reading up on world events on the bbc when i saw this article that took me completely aback. the swiss are voting on a ban on minarets. ive known the swiss to be a wonderful and reasonable people. to see this is quite shocking. the svp are supporting the ban on minarets for they say it is a political statement that is contrary to swiss law. this is of course a load of pappekak. the svp states the minarets represent the establishment of sharia law. if this be the case then wouldnt the establishment of cathedrals represent the manifestation of papal law in switzerland? what about synagogues representing rabbinical law? this doesnt concern the right wing svp.
what gets me is that i have looked up to the swiss since i was a boy. here is a country that has had hundreds of years of peace and a symbol of a better world – granted in my opinion – and they go ahead and do something that i would only expect from the deep south here in the us.
granted if this was a very low minority saber rattling in the name of protecting established traditions because they are afraid of any sort of change, i could see this happening. Unfortunately this is becoming a popular vote and is gaining momentum. i know the swiss government is fully against this referendum, but the people seem to be for it.
even if the referendum does not pass, it is a dark day for switzerland.
~adieu
oh and just as a passing thought…in switzerland, there are more than 12 cathedrals, 44 synagogues and only 4 minarets.
++ ADDENDUM 2009-12-03 ++
i would like to thank rabbi gilles bernheim for his statement about the swiss vote.
It’s a little bit funny this feeling inside
I’m not one of those who can easily hide
I don’t have much money but boy if I did
I’d buy a big house where we both could live
If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one’s for you
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you’re in the world
I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they’ve got me quite cross
But the sun’s been quite kind while I wrote this song
It’s for people like you that keep it turned on
So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen
